Dillon+Lin

Dillon Lin Ender's Game Essay>>> You need more details on Ender and on the ideas in the novel - see comments. 12 Word Story/Stories 1. The only thing we have in common is that we’re all different Feedback: Meaning efffectively conveyed with conciseness.

50 Word Story A mirror shows all my faults, my physical flaws that mask my warm front. My yolk-color skin and black hair confirms that I am of an Asian background and puts forward a banal way of thinking that I am unusual. I am not, I am human and akin to you. Feedback: The motif is magnified by the use of consonance - very effective! Narrative using Naplan marking criteria: 78%

Interesting Person Upon the bridge stood a pale lanky man, as silent as the grave. His blood red robe glistened in the sunlight, though he was surrounded by fog. To call the man white would be an understatement. His skin, almost translucent, gave the impression that he was as ghost, lost on a desolate dreary bridge. As the cloaked figure attempted to walk, his hood fell and I was compelled by the angelic facial features of the man. His dark deep blue eyes ensnared whilst his white miraculous hair shimmered like a star, almost blinding my view. A sudden tremor in the man’s movement motivated me to go aid this mysterious ‘being’. Upon reaching the man, he stared at me, emotionless and spoke, “Thank you for your help young man, my name if Lucifer, please, take my hand and guide me for I am blind.” Astounded by his voice, as if older than time itself, I gently touched his hand. His hand, colder than death pierced my fingertips as my hand automatically recoiled. Whilst putting his hand on my shoulder, he smiled at my reaction, and cold infestation of nerves spread throughout my body. He spoke again, this time with a much darker look on his face, “Look like an angel, speak like an angel, the devil in disguise.” Suddenly blood thrust throughout my body as I took a second look at the man. His features began to change, his eyes, once deep dark blue, now black as the night sky. His blood red robe, now fused with his skin and his once frail hands now were replaced by the hooves of a goat. I stood there, frozen, unable to escape, waiting for my impending death. Fascinating with excellent descriptions. Only minor edits had to be done. 9/10