JakeTFitz

__12 word story__

"Football, a game of desperation followed by a fleeting moment of euphoria." Feedback: The alliteration focuses our attention effectively on the game - excellent!

__50 word story__

" I ran in towards goal, ball racing in front, thoughts flying through my mind. I fought to gain control of my thoughts again. An opposition man ran back towards his goal. I finally saw that a long shot might work. I hit it smoothly towards goal. I had finally won." Feedback: Switch to the present tense as it adds to the tension!